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In a world where first world countries are becoming increasingly accepting of homosexuality, however fast or slow the rate, one trend that has been observed is that members of the LBGT community are choosing to come out and an increasingly young age. Of course, there are definitely exceptions to this, as the time comes based on the surrounding environment and one’s own comfort level, which may not be at the right conditions, but in general, it’s true. Many gays are coming out in college, high school, and middle school, sometimes even earlier. Some are quite discreet about it, while others are very open, making sure everyone knows hears about it. However, regardless of who they tell and how much they choose to initially reveal, in an age where passing notes has been replaced with social media and various handheld electronics, personal information can travel very quickly to a large amount of people in a very short time. Again, it depends on the individual’s environment and self-acceptance, but sometime it can quickly escalate the prominence of the person in question to uncomfortably high levels,
I know someone who chose to come out on social media, Facebook to be more specific, while in their junior year of high school. For a while, his relationship status simply said “In a relationship”, then about a year later, it was quietly changed to “in a relationship with *insert male name here*”. Very discreet, very quiet, and very much not a surprise to many people in the school. The young man had made a name for himself with his effeminate, loud, and sometimes arrogant behavior that had already led to some bullying, and when he officially came out, the few people who hand’t already suspected it were informed right away. This led to more harassment.
I had another friend who chose to wait until her sophomore year of college. She kept it a secret to all but her closest friends for a time, but others were able to figure it out based on little things, such as comments, liked pages, and sublet hints in her messages. Thankfully for her, she was at an art school, where she could freely express herself without fear of prejudice. Her comfort level in her own skin soon rose and she now has no problem discussing it with others, including myself.
Then there was me. The quiet, mild-mannered, sometimes slightly odd teenager who was usually last in legal and school matters because my surname began with the fourth-last letter of the alphabet. I had never fit it, not because of my sexuality, but rather because I felt no need to. I had always done my own thing, my own passions and pleasures, and it had more or less always just worked. I was respectful, and as a result, I had a small number of close friends in various social groups, and the respect of a larger number of peers that that I wasn’t particularly close with.
When I came out, at first it was to a single person, someone I knew I could count on if any issues arose from what I intended to do. I trusted him, but even so, I was terrified. Saying it out loud would officially make it real, and would close many doors and opportunities for me in life, no matter how much progress has already been made. Ultimately, my worries were in vain. He accepted me fully and unconditionally. Later that week I officially came out via Facebook, with a status announcement with an accompanying photo. The amount of immediate support I received was overwhelming. People I hadn’t talked to in years were congratulating me and saying they had my back. In school the next day, several people, including one young man who I was certain would have a problem with it, told me it was “really cool.” It felt liberating, like a huge weight had been lifted off my back. No one gave me any difficulty, and my life continued very much the same as it had before.
Then there was my family. I had made the rather tactless mistake of doing said Facebook announcement without telling them first, which had the unforeseen consequence of other extended family members seeing it first and then contacting them about it, all within a span of about 10 minutes. This led to some tears on their behalf, but also the declaration of their unconditional love and support. I felt bad that I hand’t realized other people would get to them before I did, and if I could go back and do it all over again, I would make sure to do that. They deserved to hear it from me, not from a random text from a sister-in-law. No one, not even the people least likely to engage in the technology of the newer generations, is completely immune to its reaches and effects.
Unfortunately, such occurrences are quite common and don’t always end as nicely as my own experience did. Technology will on continue to increase in terms of centrality and integration in our lives, which makes it that much more important that one have foresight and support when attempting something of this magnitude, whether it be coming-out or some other life event. No matter how much one can think they can control it, as soon it enters cyberspace, it becomes public property, forever, and cannot be taken back. The consequences of such actions can be far-reaching and long-lasting. The internet is the first thing man has built that man doesn’t understand, that man cannot control, a whole world which we can see, hear, and influence, but cannot touch. What you give to it becomes part of your legacy. Make sure it’s a good one.
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